


Lost It

by AVX2_VEX



Category: Carmilla - Fandom, Hollstein - Fandom, carmilla karnstein - Fandom, laura hollis - Fandom
Genre: AU, F/F, FemalexFemale, Lesbian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 11:25:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3935080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AVX2_VEX/pseuds/AVX2_VEX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a short story I threw together, and then decided to make it Carmilla related. If you like angst, read on!!~</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost It

Hesitant before I spoke. Like the wind whispering through grass, I was silent, but she knew what I had meant. 

"Tell me more" she pleaded with words dripping silver

My gaze was fixated on the large hazel orbs in front of me. Staring with curiosity and excitement. 

This was the second sign I knew I loved her.

The first being the time I was left breathless (literally) when she bumped into me at a local bookstore.

She was so confident in herself, and her smile gave me butterflies. 

God, I love her smile.

This time, it's her eyes that captivated me. They held so much life and raw energy, I couldn't help but feel her passion when staring into them. I could see worlds beyond our own through her eyes, and with that realization, I instantly fell for them.

God, I love her eyes. 

I guess I had been staring too long because she flicked my forehead, effectively bringing me back to my senses. 

"Wh-what?" I asked. Slightly confused and dazed from the mini excursion I had just taken

"Tell.Me.More. hehehe" She said slowly, ending her sentence with a giggle, and that beautiful, brilliant smile of hers, bringing the corners of her mouth all the way up. Her eyes forming perfect crescents shining beneath my gaze. 

"Ah-ahh" I stuttered out. I took a second before speaking again. Remembering where exactly I had left off. 

"Well, like I was saying. When I was younger, my best friend and I would go down to this willow tree and play in the lake all day, from sunrise, till sunset. We'd get the worst sunburns and a scolding, but we'd laugh it off and do it again the next day." My voice filled with more remorse, and my eyes and head traveled down to look at my feet as the memories flooded back. The edges of my lips rose, forming a smile, but there was a sadness behind my eyes. Beautiful, and breathtaking, yet distressing and painful.

Continuing, I said, "As we got older, we stopped going to the tree as much. We both parted our separate ways and that was that. Or so I thought. One night, after a party at a mutual friends house, we saw each other for the first time in five years. We decided to catch up, so we instinctively went to that willow tree. Under the pale moonlight we talked for hours. It started off casual, but before I knew it, we were asking about the...deep,per-sonal stuff." I stuttered the last part out. 

This wasn't easy. Talking about her. Laura could tell that. I had a few stray tears gliding down my cheeks now, which she effortlessly wiped away. 

This was the third thing I loved about her. 

Her compassion and soul. The kind being before me, who in an instant made me feel warm and complete. She cared about me, and that's more than I can say for anyone else. I felt whole around her, and our souls connected as one. 

God, I love her soul.

It was unorthodox, but it was love in it's truest form. I just wish I had realized it sooner. 

We had continued our talk, ending it with her head now gently nuzzled in my lap, and the light, but rhythmic sound of her breathing filling the air around us.

And that's how it was. For months I told her stories from my past. Each beginning with laughter, but ending with tears. Somehow she would curl up in my lap, and every time she would fall asleep. I became accustomed to the pattern of her breathing while she slept and it was so normal, that my own intake and output of air started to sync with hers.

That was all a long time ago though. Things change. Times change. Situations change. And with all that, I find myself in the routine of visiting the hospital a few miles from my house everyday. Visiting the same old, dank room. Visiting the sick. Visiting the girl I love. 

I'm sitting in the rickety, wooden chair that for some reason this place hasn't thrown away yet. Each time I sit down, I feel like my weight will crush it, but I feel that way each time I walk into this room. 

I feel like my love will crush Laura, and I'm terrified. Logically I know it's not possible, but emotionally I've been unstable. 

Wearing the mask I've made and the smile I was given, to fool the passing nurses in this day to day routine.

She looks at me, with those once so vibrant eyes, and now she holds a stunning sadness behind them. They're still radiating beauty, but now that energy has seemed to dull. 

Her smile has done the same. It's not so bright and her laugh isn't so full. Her giggle doesn't hold just pure happiness like it used to. 

No. These few years have changed her. 

The only thing that didn't change was her soul. She was still blindly compassionate towards strangers, and was the only one in the world who gave a shit about me. The same soul now inhabited this sickly body, but she was still Laura. 

She would still ask me for stories, even if they were just made up, and she did the same today, as she does everyday. 

She scooted over in that tiny hospital bed of hers. Pulled the covers back and patted the spot beside her, welcoming my body in.

I gently sat down next to her willowy frame as she gave me a meaningful smile. Hollow orbs excitedly beaming, as I opened my mouth to tell her the story. 

Before I knew it, the sun had gone down and she was fast asleep. Head nestled in my lap. Her breathing slow, and even. 

I sat there in this tiny hospital bed, stroking what little hair she had left, and holding her hand, tears slowly streaming down my face. They seemed to never stop. 

No sound was escaping my mouth, for I did not wish to wake her. The beeping from the various machines keeping the room quite occupied at the moment, until one after another, they all stopped, and the only sounds I heard was a long beep, and the dropping of my heart. 

I gazed down to the girl I love. My heart torn with hers. 

Liquid pain dripped from my cheeks. Silent cries escaped my lips and tears drenched my face, when I looked down and saw the smile I first fell in love with, plastered on her lifeless features as the last light, left her eyes.

My Laura was gone.


End file.
